


John's Wife

by Yuki_F_Karasu



Series: The Guide's Entries On One John Watson [3]
Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Arthur is John, Crack, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Happy Towel Day!, John is Arthur, John is confusing. . .Again., Towel Day 2017!, Trillian is John/Arthur's wife, last minute writing, the cuteipies, this is so rushed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 22:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuki_F_Karasu/pseuds/Yuki_F_Karasu
Summary: John, in the pub, with his... What do you mean his WIFE????





	John's Wife

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first anniversary of my first one-shot in this series, hope you guys all enjoy!

As you very well might know, it is not uncommon for the most improbable of events to occur. Nor is it unheard of for the most unlikely of people to know each other or, yes, even be the same person.

One instance, which involves all of the above, demonstrates must how unimaginably improbable the universe is.

* * *

 

John Watson, as he is known in London in the second decade of the twenty-first century, had a very odd life, even odder than people knew. You see, years after he met Sherlock Holmes (or perhaps years before as it all depends on how you view time) John Watson was faced with someone he thought he’d never see again,

It happened while he was in a pub with Greg Lestrade (and unbeknownst to John, Sherlock, who was lurking in the background disguised as a rather disheveled German tourist.)

“Arthur!” a voice called, causing John to turn around for reasons unknown to Lestrade (and Sherlock.)

John’s eyes lit up in recognition when he spotted the dark-haired woman who had called out.

“Tricia!” he cried, quickly getting to his feet to hug her.

(Meanwhile, Sherlock was silently trying to figure out why this ‘Tricia’ had called his flatmate ‘Arthur.’*)

John turned to Lestrade, a huge, lovesick grin on his face. “Greg,” he said. “This is my lovely wife, Tricia Marie McMillan, though she prefers Trillian,” he said, quickly giving the girl a loving kiss.

Greg almost spit out his drink; “Your  _ wife _ ?” he asked, his voice hoarse from nearly choking.

Pulling on a chain around his neck, John showed Greg the small silver wedding band hanging from it.

While Lestrade (and Sherlock) sat stunned, John pulled Tricia into another hug. “How is everyone?” he asked her.

She shrugged. “Ford’s fine, he’s working on some article or another*; Zaphod is working on his next campaign*; Marvin’s as depressing as ever; Slartibartfast is very excited about the recent economy boost; and who knows what in the universe Random* is doing,” she sighed. “Oh! I’ve been working as a reporter!” she added, clapping her hands together.

John grinned, still holding his wife tight. “I’m sure Random is fine,” he told her. “She’s an adult now, and I know for a fact that she can hold her own.”

Finally snapping out of his (their) shock Lestrade (and Sherlock)  had a few questions to ask, namely why on Earth John's wife, and wasn’t that a whole other issue, called the doctor “Arthur. “

But before he (they) could ask any of his (their) questions, a tall, somewhat older man* wearing a supremely fluffy fur coat walked in. Instead of any intelligible language, what came out of his mouth was a seemingly nonsensical string of vowels that somehow sounded rather sophisticated. “Ioye uieu?” the man asked. He stared at John before coming over to awkwardly embrace the doctor.  “Ioie uuae, Arthur,” the man said. 

John laughed. “I’m fine. Though shouldn’t you get going? I’m sure Ford is excited to see you two” he said escaping from the hug.

Awkwardly smiling, the man motioned to Trillian and then back to the door. “Oiuayo, iy?” he asked

Trillian nodded then turned and pecked John on the cheek. “Gotta go, Arthur,” she said. “I’ll see you around; I’ll even try to drag Random and Ford along.” 

John grinned, an idea obviously entering his mind. “Why don’t I see you off,” he told her.

With that John took Trillian’s arm and took off with the two strange and improbable people, leaving Lestrade (and Sherlock) confused.

A little while later, John came back with a huge smile on his face, a fluffy towel on his back, and a mysterious stain on his shirt that was definitely not there beforehand.

 

* * *

 

_ The reason for this, as you may know, is that John Watson’s original identity before some improbable turns of events was that of the ape-descendant Arthur Dent, who was one of the two humans to escape the destruction of Earth Mark I  _ (see entry.)

* * *

 

_ Strangely enough, due to a necessary time paradox, their friend Ford Prefect was working on this very article. Which is further proof of the improbability of the universe. _

* * *

_ The campaign Zaphod Beeblebrox was working on was his re-election for the position of President of the Galaxy, a largely unnecessary endeavor as entities who truly ran the galaxy had decided that Zaphod was the perfect president and as such would be until he died. Th/ough the campaign did serve to perpetuate the illusion that the regular citizens of the Galaxy had power over who was president. _

* * *

  _Random F. F. (Frequent Flyer) Dent (_ see Guide entry) _(Encyclopedia Galactica entry): Daughter of Arthur Dent(via sperm bank) and Tricia Marie McMillan-Dent AKA Trillian Astra. Temporary owner of The Guide Mark II (_ see entry.)

* * *

 

_ This, of course, was Slartibartfast, a Magrathean who won an award for his fjords in Norway. What he was saying can be essentially translated to this: “Um, are you ready to go?” “Hello, Arthur, it’s been a long time. How are you?” And, “Shall we go, it’s getting late after all.” Of course, this was all translated for Arthur/John and Trillian/Tricia by the wonderful Babel Fish. _

* * *

  

Copyright  _ “The Official Unofficial Companion Book to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; Information on Some Less Important Things, But You Still May Find Interesting.” _

 

_ Published _ Earth Year 2017 _ , by the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor. _

 

_ If you find this book for free anywhere but from a fellow Hitchhiker, please assume it has been stolen or hacked from our database and return to the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor next time you Hitchhike there, you will be given a free copy from one of our resident Hitchhikers.\ _

* * *

 

_ This entry was co-written by; Uleltz Icti _ (see entry)  _ originally from Argabuthon - Universe D  _ (see entry), _ a recently deceased member of Universe C _ (see entry). _ He currently resides in a version of Universe D made in his office at the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor. And Ford Prefect( _ see entry)  _ originally from Betelgeuse 5 and long time writer for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy( _ see self-entry.)

**Author's Note:**

> Please review! They make me happy! <3


End file.
